Do you ever catch yourself comparing yourself to other successful people, and feeling frustrated and discouraged that your achievements are coming up short compared to someone else’s? Many – if not most high achieving professional women experience this phenomenon. It’s called “Compare and Despair” and it has reached monumental proportions since the development of the Facebook highlight reel.
Research shows that most high achievers have a competitive streak, whether in sports, business, or in life in general. While having a competitive edge can be a healthy, positive personality trait to have – it is not when it grows to the epic proportions of “Compare and Despair”. This phenomenon can cause you to significantly inhibit your ability to perform at the high levels that everyone around you knows you’re capable of.
In this episode, I talk about the “Compare and Despair” cycle and give you three simple ways to break this career inhibiting habit, move past these negative thoughts, and move forward with your career goals.
3 Ways You Can Stop Comparing Yourself to Others:
- Acknowledge the Feeling
Ladies, we are spending too much time comparing our accomplishments to others, gauging our success based on the success and achievements of others. One of the most common reasons why we spend so much time and energy in the “Compare and Despair” cycle is because we fail to recognize the feelings we have while doing it!
Challenge 1: I challenge you: Next time you catch yourself comparing your success to other people’s success, stop and notice the habit, the feeling. Once you recognize the habit, just stop, in that moment, and say: “Wow, I’m making myself feel ill because I’m comparing myself to so and so. INTERESTING!”
Then, move on with your day.
- Keep Your Eye on the Prize
It is truly amazing how many people are working without a clear goal, a prize they are striving to earn. If you don’t set a goal and create a plan of action to achieve that goal, then it becomes much easier to waste your time watching and comparing yourself to others.
Challenge 2: Your next challenge is to know your prize, own your ambition to get the prize, and stay focused on that prize. Set goals and plans to achieve your goals!
- Have a “Safe” Word
Compare and Despair is a dangerous cycle for high performing, professional women. To help you break the habit, develop a “safe word” that will allow you to break your focus from comparing yourself to others and allow you to being focusing on other important tasks, like your “prize.”
When I notice that I’m slipping into the Compare and Despair cycle, my safe word is focus. I literally stop, take a deep breath, then say “Eleanor….FOCUS!”
Ladies, don’t spend your life trying to live it like someone else. Crush your own! Be the Fierce Feminine Leader you know you can be!
Until next time…